4 Truths to Help You Be Patient in Your Marriage

Elle Cardel

If I asked you to define the word “patient,” what would you say? Merriam-Webster defines being patient as, “bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint.” This is a great definition, but as Christians, it shouldn’t end there. Patience in the bible shows that the saying is true—patience is a virtue.

When I consider the word “patient” through a Gospel lens, I consider the need for us to trust in God’s perfect plan and timing—the need for us to wait patiently on the Lord and rely on Him to sustain us.

There’s something about the saying, “God’s timing is perfect,” that comes across as a cheesy cliche. Perhaps because it seems overused. Perhaps because our flesh nature is tempted to believe this isn’t true.

All things considered, I would argue we can’t hear this timeless truth enough.

The temptation to do things our own way

Oftentimes, we’re tempted to take the pen in our hands and write our own story. We get tired of the waiting and feel as if we’re ready—or ready “enough”—to speed things along. Learning how to be patient is a process filled with some necessary pruning, but the outcome–the sanctification–is always worth it.

 

Building a Better Marriage series from Christian Healthcare Ministries.

 

Learning how to be patient is one thing. Actively being patient within the heart of your marriage, however, can be quite the challenge.

My husband, Michael, does a great job of this. He’s quite possibly the most laid-back person I know. Me, on the other hand? Not so much.

The need for patience in marriage

Patience is required of us in many ways. Whether it’s how we communicate with our spouse or whether we’re waiting alongside our spouse for something to take place, we must always first look to God. As God is patient with us, we must seek to point one another to Him as we seek to be patient ourselves. If we rush into things, we’re sure to become blinded by our sin and miss out on the blessings at hand.

Learning how to be patient is a process filled with some necessary pruning, but the outcome–the sanctification–is always worth it.

Truths to help you be patient in your marriage

With that in mind, I would love to share bible verses about patience that contain truth and encouragement regarding patience that I have learned throughout the course of my marriage.

A patience that honors God is impossible without first looking to Him.

Remember: patience is a Fruit of the Spirit. (Gal. 5:22) We can’t bear this fruit if we’re looking elsewhere for the patience we're called to bear in Christ. We must first look to the Father and seek strength to be patient from the One who was first patient with us!

Patience is a virtue in any relationship, but even more so in a marriage. CHM

God’s plan can’t be thwarted.

We’re tempted to believe that we can “hurry God along” to bring about what He has set in motion. We believe we know better than God, but that’s simply not true. Don’t just take my word for it—look at His Word:

  • “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” -Job 42:2 (ESV)
  • “I am the LORD, and there is no other, besides me there is no God; I equip you, though you do not know me…” -Isaiah 45:5 (ESV)

When we look to the Lord to be our strength and our sufficiency, we find comfort and joy in the act of surrendering ourselves to Him. When we delight in His ways over our own, we begin to bear the fruit that we’re called to bear in Christ. What a beautiful truth this is!

View your spouse through the lens of Christ.

In Christ, we’re called to be “completely humble and gentle,” and to, “be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Eph. 4:2).

The nature of our flesh doesn’t like this. It craves instant gratification, no matter what it takes to receive it. I don’t know about you, but there have been many–too many–moments where I have snapped at my husband for this reason.

When we begin to surrender our restless, selfish ways into the arms of our steadfast, sufficient Savior, something beautiful takes place; the scales are removed from our eyes, and we start to view ourselves and our spouses through His lens. This is a lens that yields patience.

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Finally, consider how the Father looks at us!

God looks at us through the lens of Christ’s imputed righteousness–that is, through the lens of what Christ accomplished on the cross.

My dear sister, don’t forget that God is working in both you and your spouse. In Christ, we’re all in the process of being sanctified. For all who are in Christ are equally in need of and dependent on Him.

As we reflect on and rejoice in these truths, let us also take heart in Psalm 86:14: “But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness” (ESV).

A Prayer For Patience

Father, thank You for Your good gifts. Thank You for the gift of the marriage and the many, many ways it points us to You. Please forgive me when I fail in my role as a wife. Please give me the strength to think before I speak and act and to be patient with my spouse, as You have been patient with me. Please also grant me Your grace that enables me to wait patiently for Your return and to labor steadfastly in the meantime. Help me to honor You in all I do! In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Elle Cardel

Elle Cardel is a podcaster, Bible teacher, and writer who is passionate about making more of Christ. She believes in the importance of Bible literacy and delights in teaching individuals how to properly read the Word of God and apply the truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to their everyday lives. Elle is the founder of the global online women’s ministry, daughterofdelight.com.

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