Why is it So Hard to Get Pregnant?

You’re not in this alone

“For the Word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does.”

– Psalm 33:4

The Lord is faithful in all He does, and “all” means all. Whatever the age, condition, or circumstances of hopeful parents-to-be, there are always elements of uncertainty. It’s normal to feel discouraged if things don’t – or might not – work out as you’ve planned.

On difficult days, remind yourself that God’s ways are above our ways (Isaiah 55:9). Although His will and timing may seem mysterious from our limited perspective, there are no unanswered prayers. If you’ve prayed, kept the faith and prepared as best you can, you can relax and trust the Lord – completely. Whatever the outcome and wherever life takes you, He’s got this.

Things to consider when it’s hard to get pregnant

When it comes to getting pregnant, no two people or couples are alike. Your doctor can help you make a plan that is customized for you and your husband. Some things to consider include:

Your age when trying to get pregnant

Most women begin ovulating as teens when pregnancy chances are high if monthly cycles are regular. Fertility typically peaks in the early 20s, but women can have healthy pregnancies in their 30s and 40s.

After age 35, the health and quality of eggs, and overall fertility, tend to decline as a woman approaches menopause – usually around 51 years of age.

Most men are fertile into their 60s. Although the fertile seasons of life are relatively short for both men and women, with God all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26). While you’re trying to get pregnant, remember that the author of life, who knew you before you were born (Jeremiah 1:5), is still in charge.

Staying healthy improves fertility

When you’re trying to get pregnant, smart choices support health, hormonal balance, and regular cycles. Choose a healthy diet, exercise regularly, sleep well and manage stress. Avoid alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.

Dietary details matter – from fiber and carbs to correcting nutritional imbalances. Your doctor can suggest ways to improve health and correct imbalances, including vitamins and supplements to prepare for pregnancy.

Keep stress in check when trying to get pregnant

Ironically, worrying about getting pregnant can make it harder to conceive. Chronic stress causes your adrenal glands to release stress hormones that can cause irregular cycles. Try these stress-relieving habits:

• Deep breathing – When you’re feeling stressed, take a deep breath, hold it and then slowly release it. Repeat this a few times until you’re relaxed.
• Deep breathing exercise – Any exercise – especially aerobics – helps you get healthier while taking the edge off stress. Walk or run routinely. If time is short, take small exercise breaks. No gym membership? No problem! Try stretching and floor exercises, running in place, jumping jacks, or going up and down stairs to release pent-up energy.
• Deep breathing meditation – Meditate quietly for 20 minutes a day or more. Schedule time for silent prayer, too. If you’re distracted, consider noise-canceling earphones or “white noise” such as a fan.

Managing irregular periods

The days before and during ovulation are most fertile, but irregular periods make it harder to know when an egg is most likely to be released. Irregular periods can be signs of underlying health problems. See your doctor if you have irregular, painful, or heavy periods. During your preconception appointment, your doctor can check for conditions such as PCOS or other disorders that affect fertility.

Weight management

Being underweight or overweight can lower fertility. Excessive weight loss can cause irregular cycles or missed periods (anovulation). Obesity also hinders fertility in both women and men. Talk to your doctor about weight management strategies that work for you.

Other ways to plan for a baby

Learn more about how to prepare your body for conception and increase fertility naturally. A fertility app can help monitor monthly cycles and fertility windows, which increase your chances of pregnancy.

Looking to talk with other women who are experiencing the same thing? Our closed Facebook group may be just what you're looking for.